The days are getting shorter, the weather cooler, and the skeletal arms of trees reach for the skies as their colorful apparel rests on the ground. All of these signs point to just one thing… No, not the estate tax repeal (although that does loom close); I’m referring, of course, to the upcoming holiday season—a time to slow down, spend time with family, and appreciate the blessings in our lives.

During this time of celebration and Thanksgiving, our office would like to offer our sincere thanks to you, our clients and readers, for the time you have spent with us, the trust you have put in us, and the role you have let us play in your lives. We hope we may continue to serve you in the coming year.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our readers, and may you enjoy a wonderful holiday season.

My baby Rory Jane turned 1 over the weekend. It’s hard to believe, and the time went even faster with our second child. Please join me in wishing her Happy Birthday! You can see more photos on my business’s Facebook page by clicking here.

Fiona started her second year of preschool yesterday. Our little “caterpillar” is now a “butterfly.” She is so excited and so ready for something more, but it’s bittersweet for me. Where on earth did a year go? How did she get so big and “grown up?”

Filling out the paperwork, especially the Emergency Contact list, has got our Kids Protection Plan on my mind. If you have kids, do their schools and caregivers know exactly what to do in case of emergency? Do the people on your emergency contact list have clear legal authority to take care of your kids if something happens to you? If you aren’t sure, you are a good candidate for our Kids Protection Plan, which we are now offering a la carte. Go to www.TheaKPP.com to learn more and order our newly updated Free Report on Kids Protection Planning, which is jam-packed with simple, practical steps you can take to make sure your kids are safe no matter what.

Last week was my 40th birthday. I don’t consider myself a vain person and I’ve never concealed my age. So I was surprised that this was a difficult birthday for me. I realize now that it’s less about vanity and more about taking stock and identifying those areas one would like to change in the second half of life. The beauty of it, though, is that we can change, whether we’re 40, 60 or 80. We just need to remember that we can change, make a decision to change and start doing things differently.

An important flip side of taking a birthday inventory is identifying those things for which we are grateful. As I celebrated my big day last weekend surrounded by family and friends new and old, I got that I am one very fortunate human being.

Sometimes I feel like a bad mom. As you may know, Barrett was at an intensive work training for the past two weeks, morning ‘til night, including weekends. I love my girls with every inch and ounce of my person and then some, but we have never had that much 1 on 2 time before. Even with all my parenting, babysitting and “Auntie Thea” time, I had never been outnumbered by creatures under 4’ tall for more than a day. To say that it was a challenge for me is an understatement. The two weeks included Fiona’s first trip to the Emergency Room after falling on her head (“she’ll live to see another day” the ER doc said, smiling) and a trip to the doctor after Rory’s toe was crushed by a falling soup can.

I usually think I’m a pretty good mom. I’m generally cheerful, loving and patient. I’d like to say that I was cheerful, loving and patient without exception over the past two weeks, but that would either be wishful thinking or an outright lie depending on how you look at it.

I also usually have good judgment. But when I was making breakfast yesterday and Rory started playing in the pantry, I let it go. I heard the big thud followed by the big cry. I can’t tell you how shocked I was to see blood, a lot of blood. Fortunately, she’s okay. Her toenail is a goner, but other than that she’s fine. I feel very lucky that my momentary lapse in judgment didn’t cause her any lasting harm.

I have yet to meet a parent who is perfect, one who has never had a lapse in judgment of this kind. Usually, thank goodness, irreparably bad things don’t happen. We can’t be, and fortunately don’t need to be, perfect.

On one particularly trying day last weekend, when I felt like a real mess of a mother, I was lying down with Fiona trying to get her down for her nap. She took my face in her hands and said “I love you Mommy. I love your beautiful face. I love your beautiful forehead and your beautiful cheeks and your beautiful nose and your beautiful hair and your beautiful smile.” Needless to say, my heart overflowed. And I realized that while I’m not perfect, I’m good enough.

p.s. One parental lapse in judgment it’s very important to avoid is not having an estate plan. The good news is that you can learn how easy it can be to take care of this and your overall financial health at a free workshop I’m co-hosting with Kristin Harad, CFP of VitaVie Financial Planning this coming weekend. Free childcare is provided, so bring your kids and your spouse and take control of your finances! Sunday’s workshop in San Francisco is full but there are still seats available in Marin on Saturday. Click here for more information and to register.

Earlier this month I promised to tell the story of how Barrett and I met. I’ve made it my practice to ask my married clients to tell me their story and given that June is the anniversary of when Barrett and I met, I thought I’d share our story.

It was June 21, 1997, summer solstice in the 30-year anniversary of the Summer of Love. Two friends of mine were getting married at the Swendenborgian Church in San Francisco, a beautiful Church with a heavy madrone-beamed ceiling, which just so happens to be the place where my parents were married.

I met Barrett at the large reception party at my friends’ warehouse at 5th and Howard. I’d been talking with some other friends who had just started dating and seemed extremely happy. I wished aloud that I would meet someone and be equally happy. Soon after, I noticed a guy sitting with the groom’s brother and asked them both to dance. The groom’s brother had dislocated his knee but Barrett jumped right up and danced with me. He had come to the reception because he and the groom’s brother were best childhood friends. Apart from the wedding party, Barrett was one of the few men wearing a tie.

After dancing, we spent some time talking with my friend Guen and her brother Peter who was visiting from Ireland for the summer. Peter entertained us with stories about the many jobs he’d been working to save up money, including refurbishing enormous ships at the shipyards and sorting ladies’ undergarments in the garment district. Before he left the party, Barrett gave me his phone number and asked me to call him.

Now this was probably the one and only time this had ever happened to me, but several men had given me their phone numbers that night. As I sat with my housemates the next day discussing the wedding and the party, I told them about all the phone numbers I’d been given. One of them asked who I was going to call and I answered: “Barrett. I’m going to call Barrett because he seems genuinely sweet.” By way of background and not to disparage any ex-boyfriends, “sweet” was not usually the first thing I would look for in a guy. And despite how handsome he is, “sweet” was the first thing that came to mind when I thought of Barrett.

I called Barrett later that day, in clear contravention of the then-ubiquitous and thankfully (hopefully) now-forgotten book The Rules. “Thea” he said, “you called!” “Yes,” I replied, “I did.” “Have you talked with Guen?” he asked. “Yes,” I said, a bit confused. “Has she talked with Peter?” he asked. I wracked my brain – who was Peter? Oh yes, Guen’s brother who was working the odd jobs. “I have no idea,” I replied, now really confused.

It turns out that Barrett was mad at himself for giving me his phone number and not taking mine and was concerned I wouldn’t call him. As the newlyweds were on their honeymoon and hence incommunicado, he could think of only one other way to find me. He had spent the better part of the day driving around San Francisco’s garment district trying to find Peter and finally found him in the back of a warehouse sorting women’s panties. Peter to his credit did not give out any information but rather promised to tell Guen to ask me to call Barrett. And unaware of any of it, I called.

We talked for a long, long time and made a date for later that week – pizza at Tommaso’s in North Beach. And the rest, as they say, is history.

I truly cannot grasp that this was 12 years ago. We’ve been through a lot since then – deaths and births, heart-wrenching times and wondrous times — but it still feels like yesterday. I feel incredibly fortunate that the stars aligned themselves in this particular way and caused our paths to cross. Barrett brings a sweet love and a lovely sweetness to my life and I can’t imagine my life without him.

Stories, like this one, are an essential part of our lives. While intangible, they are valuable beyond measure to us and to the people we leave behind. In my law practice, we help our clients capture their stories and preserve them for all time through what we call Priceless Conversations. On Love is one of the many Priceless Conversations we offer. For more information on Priceless Conversations, contact Paula Woolley at PWoolley@TheaLaw.com or (415) 451-0123.

Happy June! June is about fathers for me. My dad’s birthday is May 30th, Barrett’s birthday is June 29th and in between is Father’s Day. My very first blog post was about my dad – you can read it by clicking here (warning, it’s bittersweet). This week I’d like to reflect on what a great dad Barrett is. I knew when I first met Barrett that he would be a wonderful father and I have to say that the reality has far exceeded my imagination. He holds up at least half of our very complicated sky. I hesitate to even write this because I know that not everyone is so lucky.

Barrett has those qualities that I find so important in a father – he loves his kids like crazy, he’s not afraid to be silly with them, and he (usually) rolls with the punches. He is all in to this father thing. I am very, very grateful for his presence in our lives.

Later this month, I’ll tell you the story of how we met.

Wishing you health, wealth and happiness,
Thea

Mother’s Day is this coming Sunday so I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom. I know I’m not alone in saying that I owe so much (besides that little thing called my very existence) to my mom. She’s an incredible and inspiring lady. She grew up in East St. Louis, Illinois during the depression. Her family had a small grocery store, so they were lucky to have enough to eat. Wanting to get out of East St. Louis and the poverty she saw there, she went to Washington University in St. Louis on scholarships and got her undergraduate degree in English Literature in 3 years. She then went on to be one of 4 women to graduate from her medical school class of 100 students. She practiced anesthesiology for 30 years, first in San Francisco and later in Petaluma where I grew up. She had 5 kids of her own and helped raise my dad’s two kids from his first marriage, for an unbelievably chaotic total of 7 children, all while working full-time. She is a true Renaissance woman – she’s been a dog breeder, pilot, orchid grower, pet photographer and opera groupie, to name a few. She is a voracious reader and her garden is a work of art.

My mom taught me not to accept the limits that other people, society or even I might try to impose on myself. “Failure to ask is an automatic no” and “Just keep pedaling” are some of her favorite sayings. At age 76, she is a Photoshop expert, was on Facebook before I was and recently went indoor skydiving. My love for my mom is boundless, I admire her and I am tremendously grateful for her presence in my life.

I can only hope to one day be as inspiring to my daughters. For all you moms out there, Happy Mother’s Day! Our influence on our children cannot be overstated; we truly do one of the most important jobs on earth.

What are some of the ways that your mom inspired you?

I was meeting with a client recently and at the end of the meeting, she said “Great, I took care of this today and tomorrow I have a mammogram.” I couldn’t resist asking which is the more enjoyable endeavor. I’m happy to say that (without hesitation), she answered that estate planning was by far the more pleasant experience. Sometimes you take what you can get.

Like a mammogram (and whatever one might consider the male equivalent), estate planning is one of those things that we KNOW we need to do. Unlike a mammogram, however, the attorney general does not tell us at what age we should begin regular “exams” to make sure our estates are in order.

Allow me, if you will, to fill in that gap. You don’t need a large estate to need an estate plan. Every adult over the age of 18 should have an “estate plan” consisting at minimum of an advance healthcare directive and durable power of attorney for finances. And especially, every parent with a child under 18 should have an estate plan.

Why is that? Because if something happens to a parent with minor children, so much more than money is at stake. It’s about continuing to protect our kids as we do during our lives, no matter what.

I’m hosting two free workshops with free childcare for parents this coming weekend because I am so passionate about getting the word out there. If someone you know has not taken care of this, please forward this information to them. Click here to learn more and to register.

Have a great week!

To your health, wealth and happiness,
Thea

I think the only thing worse than being sick on your tropical beach vacation is having sick kids on your tropical beach vacation. Overall we had a wonderful time – the weather was beautiful and we stayed at an amazing resort with great food and such friendly staff. Fiona especially had a great time – getting buried in sand by her Daddy and Uncle Shane and learning the Hukilau (too cute!).

Unfortunately Rory (aka Typhoid Mary) picked up a virus on the flight over despite my careful sanitizing of the airplane seats and the rest of us dropped like flies. Poor Fiona coughed until she threw up 3 times one night and little Rory got her first ear infection. And I have my first case of laryngitis.

I highly recommend vacationing with extended family. Nana, who made this vacation possible, and Uncle Shane were indispensable extra hands and senses of humor. I am once again reminded how grateful I am for my family. So far they haven’t caught the bug and I’m keeping my fingers crossed they won’t!

Many people experience anxiety when flying and I’m certainly not immune. Knowing that our estate plan is taken care of allowed me to refrain from worrying over that particular issue and focus on more important things like antibacterial wipes and wiping runny noses.

Aloha and have a great week!